Feeling Jaded by:J.A. Burror

jettison feeling you have done to much
feeling jaded
this feeling in me is covering
hiding won't do
I'm left with confronting the issue

head on this could get messy
as I know where the game originated from
this wasn't what you were expecting
this wasn't in your plan

but I'm stronger then you once thought of me
took me for so not who I really am
you wanted me to play follow the leader
but that's not my way

I do my best not to fall into deep
knowing this could have ever happen to me
brings tears but yet
I'm stronger now
could have learned in a different way
but now I'm hear to just say:
I've learned my lesson well
I've grown and I'm so much smarter then before
the you
you thought you knew isn't hear
you think you know me so well

have a drink to this:
you never got to know the real me

if you had
you could never have comforted me
if you had
you wouldn't have been you to me
if you had
you wouldn't have wanted to be with me
because I couldn't see a life together with someone like you
I wouldn't change only to be your door mat

and yet you love to try to get to me
find new ways of pissing me off
this isn't cool for me
but I'm warming up very nicely
without your nagging to try to change me
without the pain of all the drama
without the disgust that I ever looked your way

you wanted to control every beat
can't help but wonder
what was the reason you ever met me to begin with

you played your part so well
it seems I never took you as what you were
I was fouled by you
you really have done your best at playing me
trying to use me as a safety net
when you're the one stabbing me in the back

now that I know you
I can really say I liked it best
when I didn't know about you
never spoke to you
never glanced your way

you wanted me for all the wrong reasons
nothing was ever real
I felt you weren't even there
when you were by my side
your mind was some place else
looking to another is not my deal
but you wanted me to feel the torment

I done buying the crap you give
to me I mean more
then to have to deal with you in this manner

looking past all yo have done to me
I still know I'll get to that point where I'm thankful for the meeting
I'll be thankful not for the hurt you gave
not for the pain you wanted me to feel
but for what you left for me

I feel so much liter
now I'm free of something pulling at my strings  
I have broke the tights
I'm no longer held back in fear on threats
and that is the only big reason why 
because I have gained so much more by leaving you
I have become so much of a stronger person
by never letting you back around me